Laid down in my bed most of the day, writing scripts for the comic I’m working on. Did a lot of reading, research for the topics I’m writing about, was surprised that philosophers and modern psychologists have come to the same conclusion about anger as I did in my book “GOD THE CREATOR”. I didn’t research the topic back then when I wrote about it because the entire purpose is to present the world with my philosophical conclusions. And everything is true in so far, I’ve not had many critique my work yet. I did receive some angry comments from atheists who refused to accept anything, as usual, even if it is completely true. Whatever, the book hasn’t sold much anyways, and that’s good and bad. Because I’m hoping to remake it a little before it starts selling, I’m thinking about a new format, making it bigger and include image examples that explain the various concepts that I’m talking about, kind of like a school textbook. This has been long on my mind, but I really don’t want to invest time on that, I got so many other projects I need to finish first.
Anyhow, didn’t do much else today, spent the first half of the day applying for jobs and just reading and writing. And the other half I spent cleaning my new room, organizing my clothes, going through boxes upon boxes of stuff. Found old warhammer space maries models, tried to find their value on the internet but couldn’t find any, perhaps they are super rare? Not produced anymore? THEN I’M RICH, just kidding, all the models are basically ripped apart because of my hundreds of nephews. They chewed on them, threw them around, ripped them apart, fantastic! Might try to put them together someday and sell them, but not anytime soon.
Went outside after my daily shower, had to buy some stuff, I bought silicon insulation tubes for the windows in my room. The old one seem to be damaged for some reason, cold air keeps sipping inside, which isn’t so great if I’m going to place plants indoors, the cold will damage the plants. I also bought a 9 litre paint bucket for my brother so he can fix his room; he got a bit jealous of how nice my room and the living room turned out. Bought a tube of spackling paste as well, he doesn’t even know what spackling is, what a sad world we live in.
I came home, dumped all the items and then went out again to buy groceries; I spent around $90 on enough groceries to last an entire month. That’s a lot of stuff for very little money spent. I have no idea how my mother manages to spend $50 each week on groceries that don’t last more than a few days. It’s always the same story, the buys stuff that only lasts the first few days, and then we have to live on bread and butter for the rest of the week, makes no sense, it doesn’t add up.
Anyways, I came home carrying six bags, it all weighted a bit more than 40 kg in total, I cooked a delicious soup and then spent the remainder of the day binge watching a TV series. Started watching Lucifer, a funny series about the devil taking a vacation from his job in Hell! I almost watched the whole first season in one sitting before going to bed. It’s a small cast, not many main characters and you kind of feel that, but it does get better, it improves a lot as time goes forward, more characters are introduced etcetera. I believe the focus has been on character development for the most part, because the characters in the series do evolve and that is very interesting, usually series have very static characters, but not this series, the characters maintain their original definition but they do adjust to their new environment. They are after all divine creatures trying to fit into a human society.
I don’t want to preach, but I just hope that people realize that this is just fiction and not an actual representation of Satan. But I do want to address one issue that I keep hearing from people who usually hate GOD. They actually believe that Satan is innocent and was forced to do GOD’s dirty deeds and take the blame for it. But that’s far from the truth. Satan chose to leave, he was an angel before he made that decision and when he decided to leave then he became the first jinn and renamed into Satan. His wings were never cut off, so he isn’t an angel with cut-off wings. No, he is an entire different being, far from being an angel. And that was completely his choice, nobody forced him.
He was one of GOD’s mightiest angels, and all that power made him think “hmm, why can’t I be my own god?”. And that’s the origin of the entire dispute. He chose to follow his ego, to prove to GOD that he too can be a god of his own. GOD didn’t put Satan in hell, hell doesn’t even exist yet.
GOD, out of his mercy, gave Satan and everyone who believed Satan’s concept a chance to test their claims, to see with their own eyes that there truly can only be one god and that is GOD.
So, we are all here on earth because we thought there can be more than one god. The first god is our own ego; we all worship our own ego. And that’s basically what Satan does as well, he worships his own ego and that became his downfall, and it also became our own downfall. And as long as we worship our ego, we will then end up in hell, which will be created (the eights universe) once this test is over (when the last humans have been born).
Woke up late way past noon, was really tired so I began the day by just continuing binge watching Lucifer. Finished watching all episodes around the afternoon. That’s when I continued cleaning and organizing stuff, it took a lot of time to figure out where most things should be and how I wanted to organize everything in my room. Like papers, notebooks, empty binders, keys, and all kinds of other small stuff. And the end of the day though, I was pretty happy with how things turned out, I still got a few things fix. The shelves, Ikea did respond and it’s basically one shelf per package, so the price is extremely expensive, so I will be buying an entire new bookcase instead, get four shelves and cut up the rest of the bookcase into homemade shelves, I will be saving $100 by doing this. Yes, there will be a lot of sawing and work involved, but I’m guessing it will take me four to six hours to complete the job. And guess what, that’s still cheaper than over-spending on shelves. Because $100 divided by six hours is $16,66 or $17 an hour, so I’m basically paying myself an above minimum wage! So yeah, shove it you damn nay sayers! Whoever is reading this and saying nay, shove it! Hah!
Anyhow, it feels like things have slowed down a bit, not much is being done, at least not the amount that I wish had been done up to this point. Too many circumstances that are out of my power, and that sucks. Basically I need to do this and that and this and that. So whatever, I still need to get a hold of soundproofing panes for the sound-booth that I made. Those are expensive, so my idea was to get mattresses, cut them up and get that done. But it has been a struggle to find cheap mattresses, I will have to make an ad I guess and see if someone is selling any in my town. I have already mentioned the deal with the bookcases and shelves. And all that’s left I guess are the plants! I guess I will start working on that as soon as possible, perhaps in the weekend.
A slooooooow late day, cooked food then relaxed in front of the computer, watched YouTube clips, interviews and such. Watched an interview – or rather – a talk between Stephen King and George R. R. Martin, I didn’t know they were buddies! It’s interesting how authors are somehow more grownup. Sure, not all authors are, but those successful seem to have so much inside of them, this can’t be faked. Both Stephen and George shared many details about their life and it taught me that they have had their struggles in life. And experience can’t be faked, this is what makes people deep because they understand, they’ve been in the shoes of poor, the bullied, the hurt, the oppressed etc.
I speak of this in my book “GOD THE CREATOR”, that experience cannot be learned, the closest one can get to it is by linking other experiences to somehow understand a new experience. For example, let’s say you’re born rich, you will never know how it feels like to be poor. Sure, you can experiment and move to a smaller house, avoid luxuries, food and clothes. But in the end, it’s a fake experience because you know deep inside that at the of the day, you’re still rich and can return to your old ways whenever you want.
Another example I used was that you could somehow understand other experiences by linking other experiences, but it would still not be 100% accurate. So let’s say you’re rich and you read about poor people and their struggle, you can then try to find similarities between their suffering and your own suffering. Like your parents denied you a car when you were ten years old and thus you felt injustice. So you use that experience to understand the injustice the poor suffer. But at the end of the day, you simply can’t compare the two. Experience cannot be faked, it’s that simple.
I hate it when people try to understand the things I have gone through by using their own SILLY experiences. It makes no sense, you can’t compare apples with oranges. Anyways, whatever. I’m not saying that you should throw away everything you own so you can experience poverty, it wouldn’t work because you’re already grown up… try being a child in a poor home, you can’t get that or experience that UNLESS you HAVE experienced it. Does that make you a bad person? NO! It does NOT! Just focus on the NOW, be mindful of your environment and the people around you. GROW NOW, cherish what you have now and that will be the experience you will need for your future projects. Travel, meet people, try new things, don’t imprison yourself in comfortabilities. Don’t throw yourself into harm’s way of course, duh.
Well well, after watching some interviews, I went to lay down and wrote a few comic scripts before dozing off for two hours. Woke up to play some Elder Scrolls Online, but I simply don’t that urge to play so I shut it off after thirty minutes and went back to lay down in the bed to work some more, watched a few more YouTube, had to catch up to some Good Mythical Morning episodes on my smartphone, then fell back to sleep again! I could watch Rhett & Link for the rest of my life, like really, they are just such amazing and fun people.
Showered then went straight out into the wilderness called the outdoors, outside, or whatever the myth is called. Pulled out some cash from the ATM and then went to a local furniture store to check if they had a bean bag I was interested in buying. They were sold out but got them to order one for me, so that’s one thing I can cross out from my list of million things to do!
I then spent the day, I’m so ashamed to say this… but it’s a journal… I… I… was Procrastinating the whole day on Facebook!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, damn it, WHY WHY WHY. Whatever, I managed to write a few comic scripts, so I didn’t throw away the entire day!
So yeah, that’s all for today.
Brrrr, so cold, I tried to resume taking my daily 8 km walks again, but wow, the weather turned into freezing cold really quick in just two weeks. I turned back home once my fingers began to freeze stiff. DAMNIT, now I have to add more stuff to my to do list, I will have to get some gloves, long johns, can’t believe they are called long johns… BWAHAHAHAHAHA, anyhow, and a warm cap so I can resume taking my daily walks!
I contacted an old lady who had some stuff for sale, I will be buying them tomorrow, yay. It’s basically a bunch of mattresses I will be using as sound insulation for my sound booth. Primitive, I know, but it’s the cheapest solution I can come up with. I really don’t want to spend $500 on sound proofing! It won’t be as effective, but it is better than nothing. And hey, nothing is nothing! (no shit Sherlock).
My brother’s kids had a sleep over, so it was hard to get any job done, they constantly shout, fight and enjoy watching and playing at the highest volume.
I did manage to write a few comic scripts that I was happy with, I’m not really happy with how slow this process has been, but again, I have had so much else to do.
My plans to buy plants this weekend were ruined as well, because my brother’s car broke down and he needed to borrow the car I was going to use to transport all the flowers and plants in. I could just do it on the bicycle, but I’m afraid the cold would kill the flowers during transportation. So yeah, thanks a lot universe, sometimes it is for the best, perhaps there is something good that will come out of it, right? But let’s face it, most of the time it’s just pure annoying bullshit.
Woke up early, took a shower and then went out to get those mattresses I mentioned last time.
I thought it would be a simple thing to do, but had issues transporting them on my bicycle, GREAT. No car. Another problem is that I didn’t think they would be dirty, fucking dirty. I had to vacuum them and then clean them with a vapor steam cleaner. Lots of hair strands, yummy, hair from stranger… I wonder if it is their pubic hair, YUMMY YUMMY YUMMY *pukes*. Anyhow, I hope they are clean now, they had this”old stuff” smell, no idea what causes that, like, is there a perfume called “old stuff”, such a weird smell, and it is the same smell no matter where you go in the world, “old stuff smell”. I thought of making a research about it but nah, got so much else to do.
This whole ordeal took quite a big chunk out of my day, so it was already in the afternoon once I finished up. I spent the remainder of the day watching youtube clips, facebooking, and writing comic scripts, I managed to write quite a few actually, some very epic ones that made me giggle like a little girl before falling asleep.
– A. Wehbe, www.ahmadwehbe.com